Alyssa - 16 - probably human but we're not going to check.
Seems to have a near-amorous relationship with the act of writing. We have learnt to not ask questions and to avoid her during November.
To keep her happy we just throw her a Terry Pratchett book and hope she can keep her damn trap shut for more than five minutes.
Is known to refer to herself in third person. We don't know why, but it's a good excuse to lock her up.

 

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    I’m going to pretend that this is Shane and Reed…when he straightened his hair.
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    So apparently this is from a film called “Les Chansons D’Amour.” And they really go at it. And it’s a musical. …dammit...
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